Shout out

Somehow I’m running a 107k race in 10 days. And somehow I haven’t shouted about it. And because I haven’t, now I feel like no one cares.

While in reality it doesn’t matter. As this will be the loneliest and most introvert race ever. Also the longest one. Ever.

I really don’t need to hear that I should be reasonable. Seriously don’t. I’ve been reasonable since June. Hence I’ve actually haven’t trained for it. I wasn’t training, I was trying. Testing. Checking. As a result the leg is healed.

Oh but what if my little ego is crushed? I feel like I need you to tell me I’ll do well. That I got this? That I’m strong? That I’m ready? Maybe I wouldn’t mind if you would even lie to me? Am I so desperate that I need your support? I need you to believe in me? So I can believe in myself? Should I feel bad for saying ‘common support me?’

No? Well that is exactly what most of us do on social media. You shout about your races and running as you’re trying to inspire yet waiting to be inspired. Waiting to be supported. Waiting to be looked at.

What happened to us? Why do we feel we need other people to approve what we are doing? To shout out the words of support? To say we can?

And I caught myself asking for the same. Why did I felt like I need support from strangers? Why and when have I stopped believing in myself? Where do the doubts came from? From fear? From ego?

And I’m stopping it right here!

Believe in yourself and the world will believe in you. No. Believe in yourself and let the world do whatever it wants to. Because the world doesn’t care. And you are not that important.

Maybe I will fail, maybe I will do it, maybe – and most probably – it doesn’t matter.

Go out there and run. Smile at strangers running past you. Share the joy of being outdoors. Don’t share pictures for likes. Share them because you want to make people happy. Share the passion. And sometimes, keep the passion inside of you – so it can grow.

You can’t please everyone. But you can please yourself.

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